Esquire Theme by Matthew Buchanan
Social icons by Tim van Damme

27

Jun

thatweirdgirlwiththedog:

gypsums:

how many more days until the super bowl ends?

#how to piss off soccer and football fans at the same time

(Source: gypsums)

how my mother works
me:
mom i got all A's
mom:
me:
mom i cleaned the whole house
mom:
me:
mom i don't do drugs and i'm not pregnant
mom:
mom:
is this your cup on the table?
me:
yes
mom:
you never do anything right i do for you all day long and you do nothing for me but stress me out you are so out of control you are grounded if you think you had no life before you just wait i cant believe you treat your own mother this way get out of my sight
meatbicyclevevo:

that’s what little girls are made of

meatbicyclevevo:

that’s what little girls are made of

(Source: meatbicyclevevo)

du4ne:

me liking your selfie could either mean “that’s a nice picture friend” or “i want to bend you over a table” but you’ll never know

19

Jun

glowpinkstah:

fuoco-go:

gendertier:

gendertier:

gendertier:

i jUST WALKED INTO MY MOMS ROOM AND THERE’S A DACHSHUND IN HERE

WE DON’T OWN A DACHSHUND???? 

image

????????

okay this dog is so sweet but where is my mom omfg

Your mom has been turned into a dachshund. It’s you’re responsibility to lift the curse.

Your adventure is beginning, my friend.

Fate be changed, look inside. Mend the bond torn by pride.

roughrimjob:

me tryna flirt

image

(Source: organmeat)

philliptunalunatique:

a gryffindor will die for you

a slytherin will kill for you

a ravenclaw will figure out a solution where no one dies

a hufflepuff will be sitting next to you in the after life going “could have been worse”

conspicuouslad:

I read every one of these to my wife until she screamed at me to shut up.

(Source: iraffiruse)

chrisatemycrabstickz:

assbutt-in-the-garrison:

I will never not reblog this.

There will come a day when I don’t reblog this. Today is not that day

(Source: kickitintheslash)